THE UNSCRIPTED CARER - 1ST OCTOBER 2007
We are gradually getting to terms with cooking the two hot meals a day that Nicola (my wife) needs to keep her Raynauld’s attacks at bay. I have been growing Runner Beans in the garden, and, as usual, they have produced more beans than we could sensibly eat. A surprising part of my time is spent reading how to cook and what to cook – and I came across a recipe to make Runner Bean soup, which also used some of our home grown onions. With the help of the Kenwood Chef, that has become an indispensable part of my life, I created well over a gallon of soup, that was duly frozen. The newest trick is to float large croutons (?) with cheese melted over them – using home made, gluten free bread. This has solved a number of hot meals, and I am now looking for similar recipes, but am restricted by my choice of vegetables for Nicola’s various food intolerances. We have also found more sophisticated casseroles to add to my basic beef “stew” (casserole if you are posh!), and I now have a nice spiced Middle East Lamb casserole; a turkey casserole; and something I call “Hawaiian” pork casserole in my repertoire. With a mixture of soups and casseroles, I can now produce a hot meal fairly quickly – and I aim to produce enough at one cook for about 3 to 4 meals. One of the downsides of caring, is that it can be very easy to lose your identity and your own life. With this comes depression and a lack of confidence – so I am quite looking forwards to a series of training sessions that are aimed at raising our energy levels and generally making us feel a bit better. Unless I can get somebody in to keep Nicola company, and sort out her back if it goes, then I am restricted to the time I can be out. So it is really great that these courses provide a “sitting service”, which means that I can go on the courses. Towards the end of September, the “in laws” came down for a few days “to see” Nicola. They realised that we would need some time to ourselves, and I suspect they wanted time to themselves as well, so they stayed in a local hotel for sleeping and breakfast. It has been several years since we have spent so much time together, and it all went very well - certainly for 75% of the people involved. The downside is that nobody, including me, realised just how much stress there is looking after an extra two people, where everybody wants something different to eat; nobody else knows how to carry food to / from the table; and the art of washing up is seen as an alien art form. It was only when I went to a Guideposts meeting in Nuneaton and had a general whinge, did I realise that people who visit a “cared for” expect to be looked after hand and foot, and see the carer as a general dogsbody. Only one of the people at the meeting has had a different experience, and there were numerous bids to borrow their relatives! I have put this down to experience, and am working out a simpler menu, with no options. I am also preparing handouts on how to wash up! (Note – there will be no practical demonstrations!) Once again, the support of people in similar positions is amazingly positive, and it is really great to know that what happens is “just the way things are”.
